What If ??

Just came back from the movies (Black Panther). I was on the way home listening to gospel music and it hit me. We are really leaving North Carolina! I’ve made many memories here but I wonder if I knew we would be coming back in 4 yrs. would I have not had the same experiences or would I have acted the same way in situations. I wonder if I complained a lot and if I did I’d tell God sorry. Sorry for not trusting you and complaining. I was unhappy with certain things at time and I wonder if that dimmed my light. I wonder if God was able to get the glory? And I hope so.

Me moving isn’t by chance. I manifested this move much like a lot of things in my life God allows me to dream and it comes to pass. I felt like it was time to go and everyone I spoke with, I told. I would say I’m ready to move back up north I need help with these kids. It really does take a village especially with 3 because mom and dad can get worn out and we need help.

What if you didn’t like something in your life and YOU could change it just by your thought process and what you spoke out of your mouth? Now what if “what if” didn’t exist and YOU could change it just by your thought process and what you spoke out of your mouth? It may take sometime but when it does happened everything will fall into place with ease.

Do your kids play you???

My kids play me like an instrument! They do things to me or around me that they don’t do to anyone else! Jordyn will fuss, fuss, fuss until I pick her up! (She’s doesn’t care if I’m doing something and I have to admit I cave and pick her up but then I cannot do anything with her attached to my hip and then when Kamryn sees me picking up Jordyn she feels like she should be picked up too. They are both over 25lbs! I cannot effectively pick them both up unless I’m sitting!) Lately, I’ve been putting my foot down trying not to cave and I make them wait until I’m ready to pick them up. Man, there’s been a ton of melt downs by the twins! Usually it’s nap or bed time though! The point is they don’t treat others this way. How can these little people be so smart and know how and what to get what they need?? In need of some twin mommy hacks!

New stay at home Twin toddler Mom

New stay at home twin mom here! My family and I recently relocated back to what I call “home”! It’s a place closer to friends and family! Being home with them is a joy that can be frustrating because they fight over EVERYTHING…I mean EVERYTHING! Me being an only child this drives me crazy! I feel like they fight over me a lot! It’s like who can be closets to mommy! I feel like one of them acts like she’s the only child sometimes. They are only 21 months and I wonder a couple of things: terrible twos already and Will this get better or worse? I honestly think it’s just growing pains and growing up together. But as quick as they fight they are back to playing again not remembering what happen. Their forgiveness for each other is amazing!

Miscarriage and Twin Mom

Never in a million years did I ever think I’d be a twin mom. I’ve always had a fascination with twins. I loved the parent trap, the Patty Duke show and I even knew a set of twins growing up. I tell people I prayed so hard for a girl I got two.

This is how it all happened. I knew I wanted to have another baby but there’s factors to consider such as insurance and money. We (my husband and son (5 yrs. old) relocated for my hubs new job opportunity and I no longer was working. We all know that a new job means new benefits and different start times so, that put a hold on even trying for a baby because we didn’t want to struggle with two kids. Once we got our ducks in a row I got pregnant right away.

I was so excited! I scheduled my confirmation appointment for when I was about 6 weeks so, they could confirm everything. Again, new city new Doctor’s. I go in and they make me take a pregnancy test and it says I’m pregnant. Then I go to the ultra sound room and the ultra sound tech starts the process and I’m not really sure what I’m looking at and she cannot really see much so she does an internal on to see better. Once she finishes taking pictures and measuring she leaves and the doctor comes in. She asks if I’m sure about my dates and yeah I am. Well I was measuring off so she says come back next week. I tell her I’m on vacation next week so I go back the following week. So, it’s been 2 weeks and I’m back at the doctors office and with the same ultra sound tech. She’s checking me out and again she doesn’t see anything and from that point on my experience at this doctors office was horrible and cold. The worse use of bedside manner ever (I’ll save those details for another post). Basically, I was told the baby stopped growing at 4-6 weeks and I was 8 weeks. I was given options none of which I took because of how cold they were to me and I was in disbelief /denial and she did say my body would start the miscarriage process on its own and I never went back there again. I was in denial and I did nothing. I told my husband and I prayed for the doctor to be wrong for as Lon as I could. Maybe two weeks later I started having pain like contractions and bleeding heavily and my body was starting to physically get rid of what was a baby at one time. It was very painful mentally and physically. I still did not go see a doctor. I bleed for over a week and I was talking to a coworker and she talked me into finding another doctor and to get checked out. I started the search looking for a doctor that looked like me because I didn’t want to have the same cold experience like I was another statistical number (that’s how I felt). I found one and by looking at her picture and reading her bio I instantly felt she would be a good fit.

Fast forward to my appointment and I told her all that happened and I started to cry and she hugged me. She is the best OBGYN I have ever been to. I felt like she understood me and took my emotions in to account. It was like talking with one of my girlfriends. What I did find out by going to this appointment was I still had parts of the fetus inside and the doctor had to go in and take it out and I developed an infection because I bleed so long. PSA: if your having a miscarriage go get checked out right away by someone you will trust being in denial doesn’t change the situation. My new amazing doctor gave me birth control and told me to wait 3 months before trying again.

Those 3 months were the longest months ever. Once that time was up I just new I would get pregnant right away and you know what I didn’t! I was so sad every month my period came on. I wanted a baby girl so bad. It turned into a year and still no baby not even pregnant. I went back to see my OBGYN and she said well we know you can have kids because you have a son just give it some time, stop stressing about it. She asked if I wanted to try drugs I was hesitant and she said give it 3 or 6 more months and if your not pregnant come back and we can talk about drugs.

Maybe 2 months later I was pregnant, I stopped stressing about it and let things happen. I was so excited and I actually felt pregnant this time. I had the first appointment of the new year of 2016 to confirm. I was nervous, anxious, excited and I could want to find out. This time at the new Doctor’s office I went right in for an ultra sound and when the ultrasound tech started she said oh wow. I say what trying to look at the screen with her she said ummm, your having twins! I was shocked, excited and soooo happy! I texted my hubby and he didn’t believe me. Lol. The whole 8 month were amazing and difficult but I just wanted them to make it and they did my rainbow babies. Now they are 18 months and two handfuls!

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