It’s been 6 months since my last post 🙄. Consistency is challenging for real y’all! But it can be done if you hold yourself accountable.
So, the past 6 months I started a side business. I’ve lost some weight and inches, grown some hair, cleared up my skin, worked out more, gained more energy and most rewarding I’ve come out of my shell! I’ve faced fears and I’ve been working on me!
I’ve been working on my mindset! It sets the stage for everything in your life. Your self talk – what you say to yourself in your head is EVERYTHING!!! What you believe about yourself is powerful! Investing in your mind is PRICELESS!!!
◦ So my day officially started that 3:30am. One of the twins was screaming their head off. I thought it was Kamryn because she is always screaming and hollering since the day she came home from the hospital, but it wasn’t her shockingly it was Jordyn (if Jordyn is crying something is wrong cause she loves her sleep.) She lost her pacifier and it was on the floor.
◦ So, I stayed up with them for an hour 4:30am eating ritz crackers and drinking milk taking silly pictures. They went back to sleep and so did I eventually. I then was awaken by my husband saying goodbye for the day it was about 7:50am. His tone suggested that he was called me more than once and I didn’t hear. I was so tired and I knew I had to get up for my phone interview at 9am (I didn’t get the 2nd interview).
◦ After my interview I took a shower and I laid down to catch a nap. The girls were still sleeping I figured I had about an hour or so. I heard them around 11:30am and peeled myself out of bed to get them fed and changed. We all ate a late breakfast and then they colored and we had a learning session, a snack, animal tv time, played with toys. I forgot to mention I’m trying to wean them of their pacifiers so I left it in bed when they got up. It was a bit chaotic with screams and fits when they couldn’t have their way but by 3pm they went down for their naps.
◦ Days never went so fast being home with them. Nap time over so soon! When I was working the days would drag on and on. Right before I woke them I ordered food, we had dinner, they played very loudly, I gave them baths and did their hair for our lunch outing tomorrow with girlfriends!
Just came back from the movies (Black Panther). I was on the way home listening to gospel music and it hit me. We are really leaving North Carolina! I’ve made many memories here but I wonder if I knew we would be coming back in 4 yrs. would I have not had the same experiences or would I have acted the same way in situations. I wonder if I complained a lot and if I did I’d tell God sorry. Sorry for not trusting you and complaining. I was unhappy with certain things at time and I wonder if that dimmed my light. I wonder if God was able to get the glory? And I hope so.
Me moving isn’t by chance. I manifested this move much like a lot of things in my life God allows me to dream and it comes to pass. I felt like it was time to go and everyone I spoke with, I told. I would say I’m ready to move back up north I need help with these kids. It really does take a village especially with 3 because mom and dad can get worn out and we need help.
What if you didn’t like something in your life and YOU could change it just by your thought process and what you spoke out of your mouth? Now what if “what if” didn’t exist and YOU could change it just by your thought process and what you spoke out of your mouth? It may take sometime but when it does happened everything will fall into place with ease.
My kids play me like an instrument! They do things to me or around me that they don’t do to anyone else! Jordyn will fuss, fuss, fuss until I pick her up! (She’s doesn’t care if I’m doing something and I have to admit I cave and pick her up but then I cannot do anything with her attached to my hip and then when Kamryn sees me picking up Jordyn she feels like she should be picked up too. They are both over 25lbs! I cannot effectively pick them both up unless I’m sitting!) Lately, I’ve been putting my foot down trying not to cave and I make them wait until I’m ready to pick them up. Man, there’s been a ton of melt downs by the twins! Usually it’s nap or bed time though! The point is they don’t treat others this way. How can these little people be so smart and know how and what to get what they need?? In need of some twin mommy hacks!
New stay at home twin mom here! My family and I recently relocated back to what I call “home”! It’s a place closer to friends and family! Being home with them is a joy that can be frustrating because they fight over EVERYTHING…I mean EVERYTHING! Me being an only child this drives me crazy! I feel like they fight over me a lot! It’s like who can be closets to mommy! I feel like one of them acts like she’s the only child sometimes. They are only 21 months and I wonder a couple of things: terrible twos already and Will this get better or worse? I honestly think it’s just growing pains and growing up together. But as quick as they fight they are back to playing again not remembering what happen. Their forgiveness for each other is amazing!
Waiting on God; Waiting to get what you want; Waiting on a desire to manifest.
While waiting ask yourself these questions:
Am I holding up the process ?
What can I do while I wait?
Have I given up?
Do I believe it can still happen?
Maybe it’s just not meant to be?
What should I be learning while I’m waiting ?
I’ve never been disappointed once the wait was over.Once the wait was over I’ve always gotten more than I asked or even thought of. I mean “it” (whatever I was waiting for) was so good I forgot what it felt like to wait. But the process of waiting is a character building process. Maybe that’s the point to build you up – because maybe your old character couldn’t handle what you wanted. When you have to work and wait for something do you appreciate it more? I know I do and it makes me not complain about having it because I waited and probably complained and begged for so long I better not complain about having now.
Never in a million years did I ever think I’d be a twin mom. I’ve always had a fascination with twins. I loved the parent trap, the Patty Duke show and I even knew a set of twins growing up. I tell people I prayed so hard for a girl I got two.
This is how it all happened. I knew I wanted to have another baby but there’s factors to consider such as insurance and money. We (my husband and son (5 yrs. old) relocated for my hubs new job opportunity and I no longer was working. We all know that a new job means new benefits and different start times so, that put a hold on even trying for a baby because we didn’t want to struggle with two kids. Once we got our ducks in a row I got pregnant right away.
I was so excited! I scheduled my confirmation appointment for when I was about 6 weeks so, they could confirm everything. Again, new city new Doctor’s. I go in and they make me take a pregnancy test and it says I’m pregnant. Then I go to the ultra sound room and the ultra sound tech starts the process and I’m not really sure what I’m looking at and she cannot really see much so she does an internal on to see better. Once she finishes taking pictures and measuring she leaves and the doctor comes in. She asks if I’m sure about my dates and yeah I am. Well I was measuring off so she says come back next week. I tell her I’m on vacation next week so I go back the following week. So, it’s been 2 weeks and I’m back at the doctors office and with the same ultra sound tech. She’s checking me out and again she doesn’t see anything and from that point on my experience at this doctors office was horrible and cold. The worse use of bedside manner ever (I’ll save those details for another post). Basically, I was told the baby stopped growing at 4-6 weeks and I was 8 weeks. I was given options none of which I took because of how cold they were to me and I was in disbelief /denial and she did say my body would start the miscarriage process on its own and I never went back there again. I was in denial and I did nothing. I told my husband and I prayed for the doctor to be wrong for as Lon as I could. Maybe two weeks later I started having pain like contractions and bleeding heavily and my body was starting to physically get rid of what was a baby at one time. It was very painful mentally and physically. I still did not go see a doctor. I bleed for over a week and I was talking to a coworker and she talked me into finding another doctor and to get checked out. I started the search looking for a doctor that looked like me because I didn’t want to have the same cold experience like I was another statistical number (that’s how I felt). I found one and by looking at her picture and reading her bio I instantly felt she would be a good fit.
Fast forward to my appointment and I told her all that happened and I started to cry and she hugged me. She is the best OBGYN I have ever been to. I felt like she understood me and took my emotions in to account. It was like talking with one of my girlfriends. What I did find out by going to this appointment was I still had parts of the fetus inside and the doctor had to go in and take it out and I developed an infection because I bleed so long. PSA: if your having a miscarriage go get checked out right away by someone you will trust being in denial doesn’t change the situation. My new amazing doctor gave me birth control and told me to wait 3 months before trying again.
Those 3 months were the longest months ever. Once that time was up I just new I would get pregnant right away and you know what I didn’t! I was so sad every month my period came on. I wanted a baby girl so bad. It turned into a year and still no baby not even pregnant. I went back to see my OBGYN and she said well we know you can have kids because you have a son just give it some time, stop stressing about it. She asked if I wanted to try drugs I was hesitant and she said give it 3 or 6 more months and if your not pregnant come back and we can talk about drugs.
Maybe 2 months later I was pregnant, I stopped stressing about it and let things happen. I was so excited and I actually felt pregnant this time. I had the first appointment of the new year of 2016 to confirm. I was nervous, anxious, excited and I could want to find out. This time at the new Doctor’s office I went right in for an ultra sound and when the ultrasound tech started she said oh wow. I say what trying to look at the screen with her she said ummm, your having twins! I was shocked, excited and soooo happy! I texted my hubby and he didn’t believe me. Lol. The whole 8 month were amazing and difficult but I just wanted them to make it and they did my rainbow babies. Now they are 18 months and two handfuls!
I was on my way to work today when I heard this song that brought back so many memories from my old church (Life Changing Christian Center-LCCC). It wasn’t even the beginning of the song but the end (y’all know church songs long!) It still was enough to make me cry like a baby driving down the road. The song says:
Hallelujah, salvation and glory
Honor and power unto the Lord, our God
For the Lord, our God, is mighty
Yes, the Lord, our God is omnipotent
The Lord, our God, is wonderful
All praises be to the King of Kings
For the Lord, our God, is wonderful
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, He is wonderful
Hallelujah, salvation and glory
Honor and power, He is wonderful
This song was (an easy song to teach and learn) sung many times by my church mini choir and it brought back so many memories of life, the church, the people, and fast forward to today and I saw how far I’ve come. All I could think about is if I made it through (with God) all I was going through then. I can definitely make it now with more resources. The things I worried about back then are no longer issue. I was given a sense of peace and a reminder that life is still going and moving.
Sometimes things aren’t going the way you want them to and you feel stuck. That’s how I’ve been feeling stuck not sure which way to turn or what to do. Feeling žuncomfortable in life waiting on it to catch up with your thoughts and desires. But having that flash back was a reminder of what God did and what he still can do. It’s worth the wait! The LordGod is wonderful!
Self Expression – I’m an introvert when defined means shy – I basically keep thoughts and feelings to myself. I process and take in a lot of things mentally without ever making a peep. I hope to let go and write here by sharing ideas, thoughts and things I’ve learned along the way, to be transparent, to help someone. To use this platform for good!